Hello! Call me Aya. ^_^ You may know me from the Fediverse (Octodon, anticapitalist.party, Mastodon, computerfairi.es, elekk.xyz), from Facebook, from MyAnimeList, from Twitter or from any other number of places. No matter where you are from, welcome to my blog!! I am happy to have you here. ^_^ Sit down, enjoy yourself and prepare yourself for the thoughts, feelings and musings of a girl who has lived a strange, wonderful and painful life.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Aya’s Poetry Corner: Ruined
How long has it been now?
It’s been almost a year.
And yet you continue to plague me.
The thoughts of all of our time together…
You told me I was the one you wanted for life.
You told me you wanted to give me everything.
You told me you wanted to be there for me forever.
You doted on me.
You cherished me.
You embraced me.
You made me believe that you truly cared.
In reality, things were not at all what they seemed…
You did all the talking and expected me to listen.
You asked for all the support without supporting me.
You demanded validation but refused to give me any.
You demanded my attention.
You expected my affirmation.
You desired total affection.
You took full advantage of my good nature.
Our whole relationship was an elaborate deception…
The truth is that you never really cared.
Did you ever truly love me?
I really doubt that you ever did.
And yet I always loved you.
I still love you even though you turned my world upside-down…
You lied when you said you loved me and left me devestated.
You took advantage of my generous spirit and fed me to the wolves.
You turned everything around on me and tried to ruin my life.
Your deception hurt my soul deeply.
Your fakery rended my heart to pieces.
Your taking advantage wounded my spirit.
You refused to take responsibility for what you’d done.
You’ve spent your whole life blaming others for what you’ve done…
You attacked and defamed your exes whenever we chatted.
You told me how everyone in your life had ruined and abused you.
You engendered my compassion by telling me these sob stories.
You fooled me.
You lied to me.
You took advantage of me.
Everything you said was done to absolve yourself of all responsibility.
You’re an awful person.
You ruined my life.
You destroyed my world.
So, why do I still love you…?
Even though I have a new fiancée…?
Even though I try to move on…?
Because I let you into my heart.
Because I let you get too close.
Because I cared too much.
And thus I must live with the scarring of your abuse of me for the rest of my days…
The pain never really goes away.